Newsfeed – TIME: People Are Really Breaking a Sweat With the Jokes About Grimes’ Too-Crazy-to-Be-True ‘Workout Routine’

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People Are Really Breaking a Sweat With the Jokes About Grimes’ Too-Crazy-to-Be-True ‘Workout Routine’ https://time.com/5627728/grimes-eye-surgery/ Jul 16th 2019, 21:00
Media files: https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2019/07/grimeseyesurgery.jpg?quality=85

After making headlines last year for beginning a relationship with 48-year-old tech billionaire Elon Musk, Grimes is back in the spotlight for detailing her unique “training regimen” in a recent post on Instagram. To announce her new campaign with Adidas and Stella McCartney, Grimes took to Instagram on Monday to share the answer she apparently gave when Adidas asked her about her workout routine. Spoiler alert: It includes up to two hours of swordplay a day and experimental eye surgery. “My training is a 360 approach,” she wrote. “In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout.”

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ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regimen ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Jul 15, 2019 at 4:33pm PDT

Lew has previously tweeted about working with Grimes, so that at least checks out. But it was when the Art Angels artist went on to say that she replaced part of her eyeball with plastic to cure seasonal depression that fans began to really question whether or not she was trolling them. “I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression,” Grimes wrote. See some of the best responses below.

Me: I’m depressed Grimes: Have you tried removing part of your eyeball https://t.co/6LdbH7wa55 — Hannah Woodhead (@goodjobliz) July 16, 2019

can I get experimental eye surgery to un-see the Grimes post — priscilla page (@BBW_BFF) July 16, 2019

adidas .03 seconds after asking grimes about her training regiment pic.twitter.com/5oFKcnnkAP — nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) July 16, 2019

Grimes explaining her training regime which involves astro-gliding and experimental eye surgery: Adidas: pic.twitter.com/8ZsqxUg7iX — Adam Robertshaw (@ajrobertshaw) July 16, 2019

Hands up if you think this is a clever double bluff by Grimes which positions her actual fitness routine as jokes pic.twitter.com/51VoveFM9o — Philippa Warr (@philippawarr) July 16, 2019

Me and Grimes have extremely similar workout regiments. pic.twitter.com/m6jcKKU3jO — hazel (@hazedndconfused) July 16, 2019

McSweeney’s has outdone itself here https://t.co/9m1T623gMC — Jess Zimmerman (@j_zimms) July 16, 2019

Grimes be like pic.twitter.com/wP7qu4Caki — Hiba Tahir (@hhtahir) July 16, 2019

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